While you're at it, make it a well-built and comfortable one, because for many hours you will be sat. So you'd better find yourself a gamepad if you're thinking of joining the fight against Sauron. Consequently, playing the game with a mouse and keyboard is like stirring soup with a severed sheep's head - it just shouldn't be done. There's no escaping that ROTK is designed with consoles in mind. Decked out exactly as in the movies, with the same guttural voices, vicious-looking weapons and even animations, these make first-class cannon fodder. Which is to say nothing of the legions of snarling orcs, armoured Uruk-hai and scuttling goblins and spectres whom you get to so sumptuously do away with. The 12 environments, from the ramparts of Helm's Deep to the Fangorn Forest to the evil wastelands of Mordor itself, are nothing short of magnificent. The one thing that stands out about ROTK is its striking looks. The emphasis is on excitement -flashy effects, masses of action, and with as little thought necessary as possible. Typically, what happens is you wander through a level smacking the living crap out of a stream of orcs, goblins and spectres. What we have, in the parlance of console gaming (ROTK is released simultaneously on PC, PS2, Xbox and GBA), is known as a free-roaming beat 'em up. From there it follows three paths - one staying with Gandalf, one tracking Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, and the third trailing Sam and Frodo as they venture deep into Mordor. Return Of The King, as you'd expect, picks up the story with the victory at Helm's Deep.
So maybe it's to redress the balance that EA has undertaken to release such a relentlessly action-packed tie-in to round off the movie trilogy.
How Many of us who've read The Lord Of The Rings can claim to not have skipped those increasingly mind-numbing transcriptions of Elvish songs? Come on, maybe you ploughed through the first couple, but be honest, it is the literary equivalent of watching paint dry.
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